My Little Man

We needed a desk. Badly. We deemed the MDF hand-me-down as unsuitable for the move and decided to get a sweet desk once we got to Japan. So after I got off work on Thursday, we headed to Nitori Furniture Store in Hachinohe. I asked Mark if he wanted to stop at Lapia first to see the puppies. 

We walk into the pet store after dealing with some heinous rush hour traffic. Most of the puppies are the same ones I saw the week before. We turned to leave for the furniture store and that's when we saw the poster board. There were pictures of about 10 puppies, none of which were in the window. One of the little pictures looked like a lab puppy. I see Mark's face light up. 

Mark:  Lab puppy? (points at picture of puppy) 

Pet Store Owner: Hai. Labrador Retriever. (Hai is yes in Japanese)

Mark: For sale? In back? (points to other puppies)

Pet Store Owner: Hai. Get.

The man goes in the small room behind all the puppies. A few minutes later, he produces an adorable yellow lab puppy. I think Mark squealed a little. Crap. We aren't getting a desk tonight and we definitely aren't getting Coco's curry.

Thirty minutes later, after a warning of no refunds and the presenting of a confusing pedigree certificate, we are back on the road to Misawa with a 7-week-old male puppy.

Passed out after attacking my hand for 30 minutes.

The 45 minute drive home gave us ample time to debate his name. Brutus? No. Frank? Hell no. Rex? Maybe. Jackson? Yes. That's it. His name is Jackson.

Probably his first outdoor experience.

He's a really good puppy and very smart. It's hard to stay mad at his cute little face.

Not having AC is rough for everyone.

Passed out.

Being an adorable puppy is really tough.

As for the desk, we got one of those too, yet it remains unnamed at the moment...

Expendable

How can what was so strong
Become so weak?
How does physical distance
Equal emotional distance?
Why do the people we know
Become the people we knew?
Why is it so hard
To pick up that damn phone?
Why do I try so hard
To keep a door open
When you just let it shut.
Why do I care?
Why do I get attached?
Why does it hurt?
It is said
And has been done
All that's left
Is the carbon copy
And it makes me wonder
If anything was ever

Really there at all...

Lost In Translation: Lapia Mall

Finally, a whole aisle for my mouth maintenance!

The low self-esteem bear.

Place: Lapia Mall In Hachinohe

I have wanted a dog my entire life. More than anything. My mother jokes that I said the word "dog" before "mom." Unfortunately, my views on dogs did not align with my mother's so I never got one. Now that Gizmo is no longer with us, my dog search is in full force. I really wanted to adopt, but that doesn't seem like much of a possibility due to our location on the island. So the options are the Shimoda Mall or the Lapia Mall in Hachinohe.

The Shimoda dogs were expensive, and I had heard the ones in Hachinohe were cheaper so I planned a Saturday visit. I entered the small green building and found this to be true. They also had about twice as many dogs as Shimoda. As I mentioned in my post about Shimoda, you aren't allowed to take pictures of the animals for some reason, but I got a little sneakier in Hachinohe and snapped one of the little guys.

Would you like a home, fluffy friend?

After visiting the pet store and making mental notes on potentially suitable new friends, we headed into the actual mall. I chugged Rockstar as if the answer to life was at the bottom of the can, so I really had to pee when we got inside. That's when I found this little contraption:

I have more buttons than your universal remote. 

I closed the door and just stared at it for a little bit. Hanging next to it (not pictured) were instructions on how to clean the seat with the provided hand sanitizer. Don't mind if I do. They should have that in the United States, especially those gas stations where you feel the need to shower afterwards. I go about my business and look at the buttons. One looks like a fountain. I know what that means and I wasn't ballsy enough to test it out.

After a successful battle with the most high tech toilet I've ever seen, we make our way through the mall. Lapia is a weird little mall. The stores all run together like one giant store. The slight change in aisles is usually the only indication you've crossed into a new store. 

Standing on the store line.

But I have to admit, I am in LOVE with all the Japanese stuff. The little cartoon characters are so cute and happy, it makes me smile. So while I left the mall puppy-less, at least I got some crazy glitter pens and a cute  pencil holder. The zipper tag on the pencil holder says, "Won't you live in ease?" Yes. Yes, I will.

And since I went somewhere, you know there's more Lost In Translation pictures.

Lost in Translation

When two cultures combine and attempt to accommodate one another linguistically, things tend to get lost in translation. This tab is dedicated to these events, as seen spotted around Misawa. More recent photos are at the top. Enjoy :)

Fruit grows me too.

Think of all the taunting poor Alphabet went through.

Something tells me I don't want to know.

I do feel good with directions.

I have been planning my boobs for years.

Taste that milky mouthfeel.

Who wants a mustache ride? 

Run For It!

Confession time. I have gotten horribly out of shape since I left Alaska. Okay, that's a lie. I've gotten out of shape for me. Don't call the flat bed truck just yet. So I started perusing numerous health blogs over the weekend, looking at workouts and nutrition...the whole shabang. I've always been envious of people who just go out and run 5 miles. Even at my most fit, I have never been able to do that.

Running and I have had a long, tumultuous relationship. I tried running for the first time my sophomore year of high school. I had my first boyfriend and I wanted to feel attractive. Not for him, for myself. I only ran about a mile and half but I did it almost every day. I dropped 15 pounds without even trying. I felt great. I worked out almost every day for the rest of high school.

Then, college happened. Freshman year reversed years of good habits. Partying, eating pizza at 2 AM, erratic class schedules, and sporadic workouts put back on the 15 pounds I lost. Desperate to get back to where I was, I started the Couch to 5K running plan my sophomore year. The goal is to get someone from zero activity to running a 5K in 9 weeks. I started halfway through the plan because I knew I could run more than the required 60 seconds demanded in the first week. School got in the way, and I started skipping workouts. I abandoned the program somewhere around the sixth week.

So now, I'm recommitting myself. This time I'm determined to finish, and I'm going to do it the right way. My work schedule is less hectic now than it has been in years. My goal is to finish the program and take part in a race on base. I've never done it before and I think  know I can do it.

Tonight was the first workout. Three times this week I have to alternate 60 seconds of running with 90 seconds of walking for 20 minutes. I expected it to be harder than it was, but I learned my lesson last time, so I'm staying on course.

Music is an absolutely must for all of this. I can't stand listening to my body beg for air like an obese woman laboring over a piece of cake. So here is tonight's playlist, because I could always use a running buddy...

Run, B, Run Playlist:

1. Lollipop - Three 6 Mafia: 4:11
2. King of Wishful Thinking - New Found Glory: 3:42
3. Play Your Part (Part 1) - Girl Talk: 4:44
4. Digital Love - Daft Punk: 4:58
5. Good Girls Go Bad - Cobra Starship: 3:17

                                            Total:  20:52 minutes

Happy running :)

Let's Eat!

There is a love/hate relationship of the Japanese grocery stores. Love it for all the crazy offerings that you won't find anywhere else. Hate it because you never know quite exactly what you are putting in your mouth. Grocery shopping roulette.

So, I have developed a system. Every time I go shopping, I get at least one "weird" thing to test. Sometimes more if I get really wild. Below you will find today's collection.

The first offering:

Salty Watermelon  Pepsi 

If your first inclination is to scrunch your nose in a look of disgust and confusion, you are not alone my friend. Someone from the HR Department pulled this baby out at a work birthday party. And my initial thought was, "Effing nasty." He offered up samples to everyone, so I said, "What the hell, why not?" and threw it back. Verdict: it's amazing. In one small swallow, I was immediately transported back to my childhood, sitting on the table, watching my dad heavily salt a gigantic watermelon slice. The odd thing about this is the "Pepsi" taste. I had never realized that Pepsi had such a trademark taste, but it does and it was right there greeting me in melon form.

The second offering:

Georgia Original Coffee from Coca-Cola

Georgia brand coffee is made by Coca-Cola Japan. Upon researching, I found it was launched in 1975 and is the most popular brand of coffee-flavored beverages. So popular that in 2007 its sales were double that of normal Coca-Cola. As a daily consumer of this delicious concoction, I'm not surprised. This stuff is probably more addicting than heroin. I once drank one at 10 p.m. because I was craving it. I don't know what special, addictive substance is in this, but it is definitely more than caffeine. Apparently in 2009, they began selling it in the United States, primarily at restaurants. Sidenote: If you do find Georgia coffee, or any Japanese beverages, it is very important to shake the can before drinking. Trust me on that.

The third offering:

Yoo drink by Itoen

Judging by the picture, this is probably for children...whatever, close enough. It also has 1,000 something, and if I were a betting woman, which I am, I would think it may have to do with calcium amount since the liquid is milky white. Down the hatch. It sort of tastes like melted sherbet, if it had been mixed with skim milk. Upon researching, I have found that it is actually called Morning Yogurt (explaining why that sun is in the corner) or Morning Yoo and it is a fermented milk drink. While it was okay, I'll probably never buy it again, though I can see why it would be a hit with the kids.

The fourth offering:

Kasugai Strawberry Gummy Candy

When I picked these up, I got a little excited. I could tell they would be chewy and gummy like those Farley Fruit Snacks. There were a multitude of favors: apple, mango, kiwi, grape, and strawberry. I'm a strawberry kind of girl. Into the cart they go. I barely got through the door before I opened the bag, which was literally telling me to "please have a fun time with this strawberry gummy candy." Don't have to tell me twice. I ripped open the bag, and that's when the disappointment hit.

Who the hell individually wraps gummy candy?! I do not find it "fun" to sit and unwrap each morsel. If I wanted to do that, I would have bought peanuts. Then it occurs to me that maybe this is how the Japanese stay so thin. They can have just one of these and be satiated. Not this American. I wanted to plow through the bag like a bulldozer taking down a hundred year old forest. These wrappers are the tree-hugging hippie of my demolition. Anger stewing, I unwrap a treat. Yes, these are delicious. Maybe the wrappers were a good idea because I only ate a few and was very content. Damn you, wrapper hippie.

Overall, I would call this little shopping venture a success. Now, you'll have to excuse me, I need to find myself a Georgia coffee...

King's Crossing

One of my favorite artists is Elliott Smith. Smith tragically died in 2003, while recording his sixth album From a Basement on a Hill. Upon his death, his producer of previous albums and former girlfriend mixed and produced the album, releasing it almost a year after his death.

One of my favorite songs on the album, for a very minute detail, is King's Crossing. It happens towards the end of the song, around the 4:00 minute mark. Unfortunately, copyright issues do not allow me to share the video here, but if you would like to hear what I am discussing, click here.

The part that sends shivers down my spine are the following lines:


       Ain’t life great?
       Give me one good reason not to do it.
       (Woman's voice, barely audible): Because I love you.
       So do it.

Upon researching, I have found the woman's voice is Jennifer Chiba, Smith's girlfriend at the time of his death. The line was included as a tribute to the crowd from live performances, as this was shouted out to Smith.

The gesture, and line for that matter, have always spoken to me. During depressive spells, I have contemplated a world without me, as I think many have at some point in their lives. Always begging for a reason why? Why shouldn't I? Give me one good reason.

"Because I love you."

It's easy to forget when the world seems so dark. When the pain of simply living becomes almost too unbearable. It's easy to forget death is a permanently solution to a temporary problem. Bitter loneliness. Succumbing to tunnel vision where there is no light. Frantically grasping for a reason to continue. Give me one good reason.

"Because I love you."

The most tragic part of the woman's lyrics are that they were added posthumously. Why do we have to wait until it's too late to say "I love you"? Three small words that mean so much. Three. Little. Words. Give me one good reason.

Because I love you...



(Author's footnote: If you are struggling, you are not alone. Please call someone. The National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and operates 24/7. Please don't do it. Because I love you.)

Home.

I missed home today and for the first time, it wasn't Omaha. All the stupid little, innocuous things I never took care to put any weight to. Our office dog, Bo, greeting me every morning. Saying "cheers" anytime someone opened an energy drink. Daddy apples. Recycling those stupid coffee cups. Brekkie after Celebrity News. The clacking sound of my studded tires, begging to be put to sleep for the summer. The warmth and flakiness of "egg pie." The dance parties. The yearly resolution list. Going Nancy Drew over the men's poop bomber. The sweet smell after the rain. The Compton Carrs. The weird vocabulary terms of "The Lower 48" and "snowmachining." The lavender mountains in the early morning. Being at a "45." Hell, I even miss being asked if I have any change.

I missed it all. I missed Alaska.

The Adventures Of Skype

I downloaded Skype years ago and never saw much use for it when I could just call someone on my cellphone. And then I moved to a foreign country. Now it's the only way that I can call anyone back home for free. After using Skype exclusively for almost a month now, there are some things that happen in just about every conversation.


The Five Minutes of Hello:

This is the beginning of the call where both parties repeatedly say, "Hello? Hello? Can you hear me? I can hear you, can you hear me? Hello?" This goes on for several minutes because no one shuts up long enough to hear a response. It's a free service, so it lags. Can't complain about free.


The Geeked Out Face:

Every time you connect with someone, they always have this look of sheer joy, tinged with "oh my god I can't believe this actually works!" I call this the geeked out face. And it happens to everyone, regardless of how many Skype conversations he/she has had in his/her life. This is usually followed by some enthusiastic hand waving. If there is more than one person in the room, this is also the point that everyone either: a.) rushes in front of the camera or b.) the call "originator" pans the device across the room so you may see your audience.

The Blair Witch Project:

At some point in the conversation, you have to move, which means carrying the device with you. And it always looks like "The Blair Project" if it had been cast in a living room instead of a forest. If you have a particularly awesome Skype partner, they may indulge you with a few lines from the movie. I smell a trilogy...

The I Gotta Go:

If you're talking to someone for a longer period of time, you will inevitably have to go to the bathroom at some point. With a phone, this is easy to mask with a mute button during a friend's long story about some dude who may or may not like her.

"But, Sarah, I'm a lady. I never go to the bathroom while I'm on the phone."

Not only are you delusional in thinking I can't tell, you're also a liar and everyone knows it, so just admit it, okay?

So this is what happens.

I will not say who did this, to protect the innocent, but thank you for: 1.) turning the camera the other way and 2.) trusting my friendship enough to do this. Probably not one of your better choices, but I love you more for it.

So that being said, Skype is a lot of fun and I love waking up or going to bed with the image of your face...or bathroom burned into my retinas. If you haven't downloaded Skype yet, which I don't know why you haven't because I would love to make sweet screenshots such as the one above with you. It's fun and FREE! Skype with you soon!

Place: The Shimoda Mall

I did it. I drove to the mall and went shopping...by myself. Most would say this isn't a big deal, but I have a large fear of getting lost. A fear so crippling, that I would rather stay put than even risk the chance of getting lost. My heart pounds like it will leap straight out of my body, my breathing becomes rapid, almost to the point of hyperventilation. Anxiety is a cruel animal that drives most of my interactions, or lack thereof.

Having a smartphone with Google Maps in the United States helped calm this fear, but in Japan it offers little comfort for a few reasons:

1. The maps are written in Kanji, or Japanese writing.
2. There are absolutely no street signs.
3. There is only one person who can help me if I do get lost.

I can see you will be of little use.

It takes me almost a full two weeks to work up the courage to even think of going to the mall. I'm faced with the fact I must go soon after a short trip to the Base Exchange comes up fruitless for work attire. My lack of foresight in quickly getting a job caused me to bring virtually no work clothes in my suitcase. Thursday afternoon finds me asking the commander's wife for directions. 

She emails what appears to be fairly idiot-proof directions:

"Take road out of the POL gate straight. Once you get to Universe (grocery store), take a left. Drive for awhile until you see a pink sign for Aeon Mall. There should be a Lawson's (convenience store) on the corner. Take a right. Drive past fields and forests until you see the Aeon Mall."

So Saturday afternoon, I grab my iPod and set off. Other than missing the entrance to the mall and having to turn around, I nail the directions flawlessly.

My first stop is the pet store where they sell puppies. My heart stops when I see a bulldog puppy. Beautifully brown and white, just like the one I've dreamed about. And then I see his price tag. ¥680,000 or $6,800. Looks like getting a puppy might have to wait.

You're not allowed to take pictures, but this is what he looked like.

I set off on a mission to get what I actually came for: clothes. After checking a few boutiques, I find myself absolutely in love with Japanese fashion. All of the clothes I loved at Forever 21 are everywhere here. Lacey skirts and shirts in tan, black, and dusty pink.

Already knowing I'm larger than most of the nationals I've seen, I make a beeline for the plus size section. Size is just a number. I find a beautiful cream-colored tulle prairie skirt that hits my knees and a black see-through button up shirt with cream lace details. I am immediately thankful I'm not top-heavy.

After a fairly successful shopping trip, I reward myself with some Pepper Lunch. The first time I had Pepper Lunch was when I went with Mark's co-workers to purchase Dark Knight tickets. It's what we call a vending machine fried rice place. Just like a snack vending machine, you insert your money and select your meal.

Push button. Get food.

Once you've made your selection, it prints out a ticket that you hand to a cashier. They have a little drink menu that's English on one side and Kanji on the other and you point to your beverage of choice. They hand you a beeper and you sit and wait for your food. Pepper Lunch serves meals on a cast iron plate, so like a fajita, it continues cooking at your table. The cashier says something in a sing-songy voice, just like every other Japanese woman. I nod my head in a bowing fashion and smile. I've noticed this works most of the time.

I ordered the "Teriyaki Burger" which is more like a Salisbury Steak. It comes with a fried egg (like most Japanese meals), corn or bean sprouts, salad and white rice. All that for ¥1,000 (or about $10).

Freaking delicious. But let that cool a bit.

It's really freaking hard to eat corn with chopsticks.

I see another American family a few rows down and say hello. It's funny; when you're in a country where you don't speak the language, anyone who speaks your's becomes an instant friend. There's usually a look of relief that flashes across both faces, mainly because one or both parties has a question that requires solid English to answer. I finish my lunch and head back home, this time without losing my way.

Shimoda Mall was a great source for some more lost in translation photos. Click here, to see them.

The Prison Within

It starts before her first heel strikes the pavement
Whisper, click
Whisper, clack
Like a midnight train slowing through town

Her soul eroded
Crumbling from within
Foundation too weak
To shoulder the storm

All the fanfare and parade
Not enough to hide
What existed inside
A soul, untamed

A soul too honest and true
For scores and games
The facade is over
But the prison still remains.

Getting Ready In The Heat

With temperatures approaching the 90s and off the chart humidity, getting ready without air conditioning can be quite the challenge. If you are one of those "I-don't-sweat-I-glow" types, good for you, I am not. I sweat like a 400 pound man running in the desert. Therefore, I have assembled a step-by-step guide on how to look your best.

The Prep Work:

1. If you have an appointment, get up an extra 30 minutes than you normally would.
2. Begin by showering at the coldest possible temperature you can stomach.
3. Forgo all lotion - the humidity should keep you nice and stickily moisturized all day.
4. Calculate the probability of running into someone know you as you lay on your bed, moving as little as possible. 
5. Realize that living in a town with the population of 10,000 means you will see someone you know if you step more than two feet out the door.
6. Take towel and remove first post-shower sweat layer.
7. Check Facebook/Pinterest for approximately 10-15 minutes, pleading with your body to stop sweating. 
8. Grab the minimal amount of makeup you need to look presentable and lay it out assembly line style.
9. Take a ventilation fan and place it as close to your workstation as possible. If you have a healthy fear that the blade may cut you, congratulations, you're doing it right!

Look at you! Ready to get started!

The Beautification:

1. Towel off all facial sweat.
2. If using powder, hold above the fan (that beast isn't called the Coolmaster 3000 for nothing).
3. Look into the heavens and curse Mother Nature for a troubled puberty, leaving you scarred and wearing foundation until the end of time.
4. Apply makeup as usual, moving as little as possible to prevent the need for a third toweling.
5. Stare in the mirror, shrug, and say "Good enough!"
6. Accept the natural state of your air-dried hair - it will be several months before it sees a hairdryer, straightener, or curling iron.
7. Select the darkest bottoms in your closet. This will camouflage the crack sweat that is 10 minutes away from forming.
8. Get into your air conditioned car as quickly as possible and devise a plan to be there most of the day.

Looking good and ready to take on the day. (GO STATE!)

 I hope you find this tutorial educational and remember, no one is sweating as much as you.