What's Worse Than Goodbye

Like most people, I hate goodbyes. And with my wayward life, they happen frequently.

But the thing that's worse than the goodbye, is the days...hours...beforehand. The mutual knowing of leaving. The wanting to spend every last waking moment with those nearest to you. The stilted conversation wading amidst the future plans you know won't happen and the "see you tomorrows". That large white elephant triumphantly blowing his horn in the corner.

And all you want to do is make one more memory, but the reality is that's not the relationship. You want it to be as it's always been. But it's not and it can't be.

Because what the white elephant is trying to say is that you probably won't see these people again. These people that have transformed your life in so many ways are seconds away from becoming a blip on the timeline of your life. And vice versa. That's hard to come to grips with...at least for me.

And the sad thing is, I've always known this day was coming, but it never gets any easier. I try to act like it's standard procedure. The truth of the matter is, I'm deeply saddened by leaving, every time I leave, and another place gets a piece of my heart.

Alaska - you won me over. Continue being the beautiful, caring community that I fell in love with three years ago. I'll see you tomorrow...