How to Almost End Your Marriage

I thought today would be a great day for a recipe on the blog! Here's the recipe, along with step by step instructions (aka pictures for the non-readers) on how to almost end your marriage.

First, the ingredients:

• 1 eight passenger rental van
• 1 set of sketchy directions
• 1 iPhone equipped with Japanese maps
• 1 normally happy couple
• 1 innocent third party participant
• 1 wicked language barrier

Directions:

1.  Rent an eight passenger van to save money on tolls. Make sure van's mileage is at least 6 digits and may or may not have an alignment issue.

2.  Obtain turn by turn directions for your destination approximately 4 hours from your home, listing street names when street signs are not posted.

3.  Pick up your third party participant half an hour later than promised but still way too early for a Saturday morning.

4.  Get on the toll highway and attempt to take pictures from said eight passenger van going no less than 100 kph.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

5.  Stop at rest stop, act like tourists, and have every Japanese person unabashedly stare at you.

6.  Get mildly excited when signs for your destination appear.

7.  Come upon a three road split once you get into Sendai, pick the wrong one, and begin on your journey back the way you came.

8.  Try to correct the problem by asking a Japanese person to make a U-turn on the highway. 

9.  Patiently wait while Japanese person gets additional Japanese person to understand your English-only speaking self.

10.  Become increasingly aware of traffic pile up behind your vehicle as third Japanese person is fetched to understand the words coming out of your mouth.

11.  Bury your face in your hands as the entire line of cars behind you is instructed to reverse so you may make a U-turn on the toll highway.

12. Get back on the road and ready to conquer the three way intersection of mass confusion.

13. Watch as spouse chooses wrong road for the second time, sending you back the way you came.

14. Begin cursing at one another as innocent third party observes in horror from the back seat.

15. Repeat steps 8 through 12.

16. Apologize to spouse after third party intervenes and says both of you are wrong and being lost is both of your fault.

17. Focus post fight anger on taking pictures of cute Japanese animal crossing signs.

17. Finally make it to your destination, the beautiful city of Sendai, for some outlet mall shopping.

18. Take pictures of awesome kerning errors.

19. End day at beer factory, still married and doing the Asian picture pose.

CURRY HOUSE CoCo ICHIBANYA

Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Sarah and I have a problem. No, not that problem. I am an addict. I'm addicted to CURRY HOUSE CoCo ICHIBANYA, or better known as CoCo's Curry.

After the first hit, I was addicted. Game over. Truth be told, I didn't even see it coming. One minute I was shopping the many stores of the Fantasy Dome in Hachinohe with my friend Amanda and the next I was licking my plate, afraid to leave a drop behind.

We took a seat in the booth and I opened the menu, thinking most of it looked disgusting.

Me: "So what's good here?"
Amanda: "Are you going to get the cheese naan? It's amazing."
Me: "What the hell is cheese naan?"

Carbs? Cheese? Cheap? I'm in.

Me: "Sure. That sounds good. Want to split one?"
Amanda: "Trust me, you'll want your own."

So I ordered my own along with the chicken curry cutlet. On a side note, one of my favorite things about Japan is how the restaurants operate. When you're ready to order, you push a little button on the table which makes a doorbell noise, and then your waiter immediately appears to take your order.

Moments later, our entrees appear. In Japan, they bring your food as it is cooked, which sometimes means your appetizer comes at the end of the meal. It is also customary to begin eating your food when it arrives, regardless if your dining partners have gotten their's.

Chicken Cutlet Curry. My new love.

At first glance, I thought it looked as equally disgusting as the menu picture. I mixed it all up and took a bite. I felt like I had tasted heaven. The chicken was coated in the perfect amount of breading, crispy and tender at the same time. The curry sauce left me contemplating the feasibility of creating a curry pool in my backyard. Just when I thought I had summited Mt. Foodgasm, the cheese naan arrived.

Cheese naan. My lifeblood.

Cheese naan is like a cloud of carbs and premium cheese had a baby and called it awesome. I wish I was joking when I tell people I wake up thinking about cheese naan. I then dipped the naan in the curry sauce. I think that's the closest I'll ever get to a religious experience.

So there you have it. My latest addiction. Like any fiend, I don't care that it's a 45 minute drive away. I will run to there if I have to. Until we meet again, my love...

Directions to CoCo's:

1. Go out the POL gate and take a left at Universe/Homac.
2. Take a right at the big pink Aeon sign (Lawson's will be on the left corner).
3. Take this road into Hachinohe.
4. When you get to Sega World, take a right and it's almost immediately on the right.

Place: Shipwreck Beach

After a little over two months, all of our stuff arrived in Japan. The joy of no longer living in the hotel of our own home is indescribable. "Christmas" was Saturday at 8 am sharp on Labor Day weekend. 

Our entire house on wheels.

Battling a raging hangover, I directed the movers where to drop everything. Moving to a place half the size of your old house requires a lot of creative furniture placement. We spent most of Labor Day weekend deciding what to keep and what to donate.

To break up the monotony of moving, we planned a trip to Shipwreck Beach on Monday. Shipwreck Beach  is on the coast of Shimokita Peninsula and a quick hour drive from Misawa.

One of the two shipwrecks giving the beach its name.

The beach is beautiful and serene. The waters are calm, but have a deadly undertow and are filled with jellyfish, so swimming is not recommended.

One of the main draws of the beach is the abundant amount of sea glass. Sea glass is frosted white, brown, or seafoam green in color. I realize that sea glass is merely broken bottles made smooth by the ocean, but it's very fun to hunt for and looks beautiful in clear glass jars.

We combed the beach for almost two hours, putting all of our finds in a small bag. I really wanted to stay until sunset so I could take pictures of the shipwrecks with the sunset, but the puppy was getting tired.

On our drive back, the sun began to set. I begged Mark to pull over and thankfully he did.

Sunset from the side of the road in Noheji.

Once we got home, we started uploading the pictures we took with our good camera. They turned out really well, and with a little Photoshop action, we should have some nice ones to frame. 

Some of sea glass we collected.

My sea glass display.

Directions to Shipwreck Beach (no toll roads):

Coordinates: N 40* 57.292    E 141* 12.794

• Go out the main gate and take a right at the second light.
• Take a right at the third light.
• Go straight past white pole road and make a left at the T intersection
• Take the next right onto 8
• Follow 8 until you get to 4. Merge right to stay on 4.
• Continue for about 2 km. When you pass the Sunkus on the left, veer right onto Route 279 towards Central Noheji.
• Stay on 279 as it winds through Noheji.
• At the flashing light, turn right towards Mutsu.
• Travel on this road for 12.4 km, driving slowly as the entrance is easy to miss.
• You will see a white metal fence on the left side. When it ends there is a small gravel parking lot off the side of the road. Do not drive down to the beach; you may get locked in.
• Once you get out of the car and start walking to the beach, there is a gigantic mountain of shells to your left. If you see this, you made it!
• If you pass over another set of railroad tracks and are next to windmills, you went too far.

Place: The Shimoda Mall

I did it. I drove to the mall and went shopping...by myself. Most would say this isn't a big deal, but I have a large fear of getting lost. A fear so crippling, that I would rather stay put than even risk the chance of getting lost. My heart pounds like it will leap straight out of my body, my breathing becomes rapid, almost to the point of hyperventilation. Anxiety is a cruel animal that drives most of my interactions, or lack thereof.

Having a smartphone with Google Maps in the United States helped calm this fear, but in Japan it offers little comfort for a few reasons:

1. The maps are written in Kanji, or Japanese writing.
2. There are absolutely no street signs.
3. There is only one person who can help me if I do get lost.

I can see you will be of little use.

It takes me almost a full two weeks to work up the courage to even think of going to the mall. I'm faced with the fact I must go soon after a short trip to the Base Exchange comes up fruitless for work attire. My lack of foresight in quickly getting a job caused me to bring virtually no work clothes in my suitcase. Thursday afternoon finds me asking the commander's wife for directions. 

She emails what appears to be fairly idiot-proof directions:

"Take road out of the POL gate straight. Once you get to Universe (grocery store), take a left. Drive for awhile until you see a pink sign for Aeon Mall. There should be a Lawson's (convenience store) on the corner. Take a right. Drive past fields and forests until you see the Aeon Mall."

So Saturday afternoon, I grab my iPod and set off. Other than missing the entrance to the mall and having to turn around, I nail the directions flawlessly.

My first stop is the pet store where they sell puppies. My heart stops when I see a bulldog puppy. Beautifully brown and white, just like the one I've dreamed about. And then I see his price tag. ¥680,000 or $6,800. Looks like getting a puppy might have to wait.

You're not allowed to take pictures, but this is what he looked like.

I set off on a mission to get what I actually came for: clothes. After checking a few boutiques, I find myself absolutely in love with Japanese fashion. All of the clothes I loved at Forever 21 are everywhere here. Lacey skirts and shirts in tan, black, and dusty pink.

Already knowing I'm larger than most of the nationals I've seen, I make a beeline for the plus size section. Size is just a number. I find a beautiful cream-colored tulle prairie skirt that hits my knees and a black see-through button up shirt with cream lace details. I am immediately thankful I'm not top-heavy.

After a fairly successful shopping trip, I reward myself with some Pepper Lunch. The first time I had Pepper Lunch was when I went with Mark's co-workers to purchase Dark Knight tickets. It's what we call a vending machine fried rice place. Just like a snack vending machine, you insert your money and select your meal.

Push button. Get food.

Once you've made your selection, it prints out a ticket that you hand to a cashier. They have a little drink menu that's English on one side and Kanji on the other and you point to your beverage of choice. They hand you a beeper and you sit and wait for your food. Pepper Lunch serves meals on a cast iron plate, so like a fajita, it continues cooking at your table. The cashier says something in a sing-songy voice, just like every other Japanese woman. I nod my head in a bowing fashion and smile. I've noticed this works most of the time.

I ordered the "Teriyaki Burger" which is more like a Salisbury Steak. It comes with a fried egg (like most Japanese meals), corn or bean sprouts, salad and white rice. All that for ¥1,000 (or about $10).

Freaking delicious. But let that cool a bit.

It's really freaking hard to eat corn with chopsticks.

I see another American family a few rows down and say hello. It's funny; when you're in a country where you don't speak the language, anyone who speaks your's becomes an instant friend. There's usually a look of relief that flashes across both faces, mainly because one or both parties has a question that requires solid English to answer. I finish my lunch and head back home, this time without losing my way.

Shimoda Mall was a great source for some more lost in translation photos. Click here, to see them.