Getting Ready In The Heat

With temperatures approaching the 90s and off the chart humidity, getting ready without air conditioning can be quite the challenge. If you are one of those "I-don't-sweat-I-glow" types, good for you, I am not. I sweat like a 400 pound man running in the desert. Therefore, I have assembled a step-by-step guide on how to look your best.

The Prep Work:

1. If you have an appointment, get up an extra 30 minutes than you normally would.
2. Begin by showering at the coldest possible temperature you can stomach.
3. Forgo all lotion - the humidity should keep you nice and stickily moisturized all day.
4. Calculate the probability of running into someone know you as you lay on your bed, moving as little as possible. 
5. Realize that living in a town with the population of 10,000 means you will see someone you know if you step more than two feet out the door.
6. Take towel and remove first post-shower sweat layer.
7. Check Facebook/Pinterest for approximately 10-15 minutes, pleading with your body to stop sweating. 
8. Grab the minimal amount of makeup you need to look presentable and lay it out assembly line style.
9. Take a ventilation fan and place it as close to your workstation as possible. If you have a healthy fear that the blade may cut you, congratulations, you're doing it right!

Look at you! Ready to get started!

The Beautification:

1. Towel off all facial sweat.
2. If using powder, hold above the fan (that beast isn't called the Coolmaster 3000 for nothing).
3. Look into the heavens and curse Mother Nature for a troubled puberty, leaving you scarred and wearing foundation until the end of time.
4. Apply makeup as usual, moving as little as possible to prevent the need for a third toweling.
5. Stare in the mirror, shrug, and say "Good enough!"
6. Accept the natural state of your air-dried hair - it will be several months before it sees a hairdryer, straightener, or curling iron.
7. Select the darkest bottoms in your closet. This will camouflage the crack sweat that is 10 minutes away from forming.
8. Get into your air conditioned car as quickly as possible and devise a plan to be there most of the day.

Looking good and ready to take on the day. (GO STATE!)

 I hope you find this tutorial educational and remember, no one is sweating as much as you.