Getting everything you want out of life is ridiculously easy…all you need is a plan. The caveat is that plans are tough and motivation wanes as "life" gets in the way. I know. I'm a victim of all of that.
Enter the curse of have a degree in psychology. I can tell you exactly why you and I do certain things but preventing yourself from following the path ahead is another story in and of itself. Again, I'm a victim of this, making it even more frustrating.
So how do you get ridiculously rich and win the adoration of women and children? Beats me. But what I do have is a crash course in motivation techniques to help you find the answer, you know, if that's your goal in life.
And just like any good psychology course, we'll look at a case study, with a subject I know very well…myself.
It's hard to get where you want if you don't know exactly where that is. It sounds really stupid and self-explanatory but it's one of the biggest problems of accomplishing a goal.
For me, my goal is to be a slimmer version of my current self. I think the women can relate to that one.
Here's where you close your eyes and envision you at your goal. What do you see?
I see myself getting dressed in single digit clothes and throwing on whatever I want that day and walking out the door. No changing my outfit five times because I look too "fat" in those pants. I also see myself doing fun runs, hiking, whatever the group is doing, I'm doing because I can.
This is where the whole goal setting thing starts to crumble. Without frequent, attainable checkpoints set in place, you will derail. You will begin to lose sight of the future and start doing what is fun for the right now. I'm not saying deny yourself everything you want until you get to your goal, but you have to plan for it. More on that later, though. For now, we set our benchmarks.
For my benchmarks, I began following the Couch to 5K running plan. I committed to doing the runs 3 times a week so that I can reach my mini-goal of running a 5K. I also measure myself and see how my body changes in response to clean eating and regular exercise.
It will happen, and knowing it will happen makes your goal that much more attainable. This is where you have fun in the present.
For me, this is when I go out with friends and get crazy drunk. That's just how I am (and my friends for that matter) at this point in my life. I know that I will only do this in the presence of others and on a weekend. Therefore, my diet is on point all week. No cheats. I do all my workouts. My reward is going out.
If your goal is saving money, this is where you would allow yourself a spend on something small.
What is keeping you from easily attaining your goals? One word. Excuses. That's it. If there is a will, there is a way. So any obstacle you have created is simply you creating an excuse. But why? Why would you keep yourself from your own goal? There's plenty of reasons. Fear of perceived failure, fear of inability to maintain goal long term, satisfaction of being a victim, etc. Knowing WHY you PERSONALLY make excuses is a HUGE step and honestly takes a lot of self introspection and humbling of self.
I make excuses for two reasons. The first is I like being the victim. The second is the need to strive for something always. The fear that once I reach the goal I will have nothing left to work towards. The classic villain finally killing the hero. So I create obstacles.
I can't workout because I have to spend time with my husband, but the truth is he will not miss me if I take an hour for myself at the gym.
I can't workout because I'm tired. Go to sleep earlier. There is no reason for me to Pinterest until 11 PM. None.
I want McDonald's because I'm sick of eating the same thing. So make a new recipe. And remember how disgusted and shamed you feel after eating something not in your meal plan.
Write down all your excuses, followed by a solution. If there's a will, there's a way. If it is an unmovable object, then your goal isn't as important as you think. The more honest you are with yourself, the better and easier getting to your goal will be.
The last step begins with a folksy, yet empowering story. When I was in high school, there was this one singer at my parents' church. She had the most amazing, powerful voice, thus why we called her the Opera Lady. Her voice was the doves crying kind of voice. However, her voice didn't match her outward appearance. She was by all definitions morbidly obese.
And everyone would say, "Oh she has such an amazing voice," with pity dripping off every word. I think she knew. I feel like she knew.
One day, while I was working out, I saw the Opera Lady, moving slowly along the track circling the gym floor. Each step looked pained and the result of extreme effort and concentration. Her workout was the equivalent of my warm-up. But she didn't notice, or if she did it didn't matter. I was merely another piece of equipment to maneuver.
Every day, the Opera Lady was there, walking the track. Weeks...months went by, and she was still there, walking circle after circle. Almost a year later, she was nearly half her size, walking that track. She was still not "skinny" but she had made huge strides to getting there.
Often times when I go to the gym, I feel like I don't belong. I get so caught up with how in shape everyone else is. I feel like a poser...a fool, carrying around my jug of water and my lifting notebook. They can clearly see I'm not one of them. I try and hide my fat under a loose t-shirt, hoping they won't see.
But it's all so stupid. Who cares? Another case of spotlight effect, or the tendency for humans to believe that others are watching us more closely than they actually are. So I started wearing my workout tank tops again, because it lets me see where I'm at…step 3 in effect!
Just like the Opera Lady, keep your sights on the task at hand, and watch as you climb closer to your goal. Oh, and become ridiculously rich and win the adoration of women and children...
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